My name’s Katie. I’m 24 years old. I’m attempting to do a Literature PhD on top of a full-time job (because let’s face it – a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.) Fortunately it’s a job I love, so I’m very lucky in that respect.
But above and beyond all this, I’ve always been a “fat girl” – not someone who should ever, ever be writing about fitness. Through school, through college, through uni, through endless jobs and job interviews, I’ve never not been the fat girl. See exhibit A:
This was me at 260lbs, in July 2010.
Now, I’d always been big, but never that big – but at this point, I’d been in and out for extensive knee surgery (both sides) three times after a severe accident, been through a fairly torturous breakup (urgh!) and was balancing a full-time MPhil with a full-time shop job, so things weren’t looking good.
At that weight, I was on the precipice – I was either going to get much, much bigger and never claw it back, or I was going to have to make some pretty drastic changes to get away from it. I was eating for comfort, with a beast of a sugar and carb habit. I mean, seriously – no amount of Pizza Hut was going to cover it. Plus, because of the knee pain and walking issues, I wasn’t getting any exercise. It was not a good time for me.
I’d moved back to my hometown to be closer to work and my family after the breakup, and had found myself a lovely little room above a Subway. I mean the sandwich shop. Across the road from a Chinese, a chippy, and two curry houses. You can see where this could’ve all gone wrong, right?
However, ever so slightly further down the road (I’m talking still in view of my bedroom window) there was also a gym.
Now, the very mention of the word ‘gym’ would bring back flashbacks of school, when, as I’ve already said, I was the fat girl. Not good.
But I couldn’t avoid it – the fact that it was there meant my excuses were officially down to nothing. I was “fixed” knee-wise (as much as one can be with that much weight on the joints), I had student discount so I could afford the membership, and despite the job and the MPhil, I was spending a lot of time watching Grey’s Anatomy, thus negating the ‘time’ excuse. So, after months of avoiding it, I went in.
Embarrassing doesn’t even cut it.
But I signed up, got myself an induction booked, and went home via the chippy. Might as well use the 3 days before my excuses were officially gone for fun, right?
That was on the 23rd August 2010.
Now, I can’t say I’ve been an angel since – I was off the wagon for about 9 months. But with a renewed focus at the end of February – and the discovery of ‘clean eating’ – I’m now at 178lbs. So yes, I’ve still got some distance to go – but when I said at 260lbs that I’d like to lose 100 of them, it seemed impossible.
Now I’m nearly there.
Now, I’m not quite done – there’s still a bit of work to do and 18lbs until I reach my goal weight. But my addiction to weight loss and fitness blogs (as well as TV shows) has got me this far – so I thought I’d make one of my own so that I can (hopefully) help other people in my position.
After all, it’s been a real journey of discovery – I’ve learned a lot about myself, and as much as I’d like to say I was the same person before as I am now, I’m not. I’m confident, happy, and far more relaxed than I’ve ever been – and my focus has changed completely. All of the ways I’ve changed, though, have been for the better – not just in how I look, but in how I feel, how I think, how I cope with stress (something I have a lot of!)
I feel like a whole person now, and I’m living my life to the full in a way I never did before – so I’m hoping this blog can put some of my newfound positivity into the world for other people to use!
So… Are you in, or are you out?
Fat Girl, PhD x